I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How's work?
Spinning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize