did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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