Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I need to calm my uterus...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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