Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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