Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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