What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
