White coat. Heels.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
