i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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