Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
