I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
