is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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