HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
