thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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