So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
