I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
