Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
