can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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