I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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