Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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(972): View more from Texas

Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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(541): View more from Oregon

It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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(407): View more from Florida

Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.

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(989): View more from Michigan

He literally knows my vagina better then I do.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship

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