I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
