If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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