I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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