My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
