I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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