I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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