try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
