The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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