Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
