I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
