i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
