i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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