Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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