no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize