I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize