Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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