in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize