If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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