She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
