you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
