There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
