3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
