It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize