I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
