her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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