Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I die, sorry about rent.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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