this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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