THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
