so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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