I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
