Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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