Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
