this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize