The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
