sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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