writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
