I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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