just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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