About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
