I bet he comes in French.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
